It's a wonderful life when
all your dreams are made
I got the message long before you said you knew
There was a time we had so little
But you sit there silent, folded arms
here comes the big shot
a window you see through a haze
a memory with nothing to show
i can't bring myself around to write an excuse this time
Never giving into pressure from the outside
your fake character never builds
crestfallen holding a drooping flower bouquet

_______________________________________________

In Life's private apocalypse
the obvious things escape your attention.
we are nowhere because we have nothing and no one.

On the surface of this desert land
across the dull smoked glass there is a silent canvas
that shimmers with hope and desire.
Troubling eyes colonize magnificent smears of protest
where the answer to everything reflects off your breath.

gape, grin, laugh out loud
Your natural impulses are yearning to be released.
for life once dedicated to the heart
is now dedicated to the sale
life has been a riddle suspended animation
lavishly illustrated swallowed in by quicksand.

Fall to your knees.
Shake your head wonderment
Headlamps and moonlight light the way
to a world that enjoys not war but a global orgy
wrapped up in meaningful magic
of rhythm, soul and rock an roll

Untitled work

I'm thinking back and loving every moment I had.
dream baby for me, ill be waiting here for you.
A glare that comes from the sun
Some odd days I get carried away and I'm dreaming
logical reasoning is something you should shoot for.

i look alive im dead inside, my heart has holes
dream for all these problems
It was more than popularity.
I won't allow it. I won't let it happen.
I've only heard one in a million words.

im as clean as they come when im fixing my soul
im up and down again. im losing all my friends. but its all right.
So break this frame and let the glass drip down your face.

a bad habit a heart shut
It's more than a scar. It's a lifetime you left.
goodbye to all those sweet kisses
is it wrong to want to walk away?

Must Read List

Below​ is a list of books​ that I want to read next (in no parti​cular​ order​)​
Pleas​e let me know if you have any sugge​stion​s on other​ good books​ I shoul​d/​must read :D
Does anyon​e happe​n to have any of the ones below​ and are willi​ng to let me borro​w it, I lost my libra​ry card :[

Thank​s!​

The Violent Bear it Away [by Flannery O'Connor
Without a name under the Tongue [by Yvonne Vera
Asiatics: A Novel [by Frederic Prokosch
The Rest Is Noise [by Alex Ross
Savage Detectives [by Roberto Bolano
Hard Times and High Spirits [by Mildred Armstrong
Then We Came To an End [by Joshua Ferris
A Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness [by Kay Redfield Jamison
Best American Nonrequired Reading [by Sufjan Stevens/David Eggers
The Neon Bible [by John Kennedy Toole
Managing Ignatius: The Lunacy Of Lucky Dogs and Life in New Orleans [by Jerry Strahan
Screams For the Balcony [by Charles Bukowski
Dangling in the Tournefortia [by Charles Bukowski
Lemon Tree: An Arab, a Jew and the Heart of the Middle East [by Sandy Tolan
Doctor Zhivago [by Boris Pasternak
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich [by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
Being and Nothingness [by Jean-Paul Sartre
Existentialism and Human Emotions [by Jean-Paul Sartre
De La Mettrie's Ghost [by Chris Nunn
Master and Margarita [by Mikhail Bulgakov
The Stranger [by Albert Camus
Man Without a Country [by Kurt Vonnegut
Lazarus Project [by Alesksandar Hemon
Beijing Coma [by Ma Jin
An Anthropologist On Mars: Seven Paradoxical Tales [by Oliver Sacks
What it Was [by David Eggers
Heart Like Water [by Joshua Clark
When Smoke Ran Like Water [by Devra Davis
Moon in a Dewdrop [By Eihei Dogen
Without A Map: A Memoir [by Mereidth Hall
A Brief Tour of Human Consciousness: From Impostor Poodles to Purple Numbers [by V. S. Ramachandran
Everything Is Miscellaneous: The Power of the New Digital Disorder [by David Weinberger
Freedom for the Thought That We Hate: A Biography of the First Amendment [by anthony Lewis
Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace.. One School at a Time [by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live: Collected Nonfiction [by Jon Didion
I am a Strange Loop [By Douglas R. Hofstadter
Strangers To Oursleves:Discovering The Adaptive Unconscious [by Timothy D. WIlson

INDY Is MY HERO

Street Fighter II - The World Warrior

I just bought Street Fighter II - The World Warrior
The arcade game that takes quarters :)
From the local pizza place.. Dude I grew up playing on the exact console I bought
At Rays Pizza!
It will look like this.. but obviously for Street Fighter II - The World Warrior




It was only 400 bucks and they are delivering it for free!!!

Hell fucking yess
Imma set it up so you don't need to use quarters
Ahha

Bright lights of america video shoot

Oh man, how to begin talking about yesterday and it’s insanity! Broken bones, Eagle Man aka Louie Bones, roller derby girls, war of the worlds, rap battles, Coach Morello, Anti-Flag, satire, face paint, insanity, screaming, singing .. oh and the list goes on and on..
Shooting from around 8am - 12:30am.
Kira and I woke up at 5am to get ready and leave to head up to LA, we had no idea what to really wear, do our hair, or what to expect.
I got there wearing a corset, and a short pink parachute skirt with fishnets apparently everyone.. or most people seemed to like it. We were called in for makeup and got awesome flags/sports fan type make up painted on our faces, We had to be blood thirsty sports fans, ahaha this will me amazing to see what the final product will look like and how they’ll portray us. ahaha. great.

Then we waited around for a while, then started filming as cazy insane, spitting, screaming, yelling cursing, fans, to start the day, which I wish they did at the end of the shoot, when everyone was delirious and not so awkward. Any who, we stopped shooting the close ups of our blood thirsty-ness.
The the beginning of the screaming, cheering, cursing and the derby war of the worlds death match began :D

Around 11:30 Anti-Fl;ag showed up (since that’s when their plane arrived from texas) and so louie introduced me to them and Chris 2 was talking up the upcoming shoots he was thinking of, which I really would like to participate in/think is brilliant.
We started filming even more crazyness of the Roller derby girls kicking fucking ass, whomat the end of the day, there were broken collar bones, ribs, arms, wrists, legs, noses, and cheeks, and I am not even mentioning the bruises, fractures, or sprains. We had a surprise guest/cameo come in and wow, holy shit a god in the eyes of music, whose is also on Guitar Hero video games!

We filmed from 7 AM and finally got a break for lunch at 1:30PM for lunch for 30 min which apparently was told to us it would happen at 11ish and they brought in pizzas 4 small pizzas that.. were each 36 inches in diameter (and thats the small size!) during the break Chris 2 and Justin and the surprise guest filmed an interview for MTV news that should be out next week!! *eeps* and who knows if the video will air then or if we were also in Making the Video.. After the interview Louie introduced me to two of his friends whom I am completely blanking out on their names. Kira and I were dragged back to start filming again, more cheering, screaming, singing, and close up shots as well as more crashing/smashing of the roller derby girls, over and over and over again while Anti-flag flag started "playing" take after take after take, sometimes the full song would play, soimetims i t was a op partial. I swear I do not want to hear that song for a long time, ahaha, but that will be over tomorrow i bet ahaha.

I became really close with everyone who was in my section we all were going delirious together cracking jokes, cracking puns and saying things that connotated to other things. sadly I forgot to get everyone’s numbers since my phone died early on, but I want to chill with all of you guys asap, prob see most of you guys on Sunday.

Pat, Justin and Chris kept on coming over and taking to us and couldn’t thank us enough for coming and staying till the end and being apart of our one big happy family. Pat came out and made fun of the signs saying one of them was so "vanilla" because all the signs were like Rip their limbs off, ram into them, kill kill kill, then there was the sign that just said SKATE.. kinda really funny. I guess you had to be there type of thing.

.We didn’t get a dinner break till 9pm or was it 10pm. I love how it was supposed to be one shot, and then a break for 20minn, two hours later we finally went on break all delirious, coughing up blood or living with hoarse throats. We had more ginormous pizza, and chocolate pieces/cookies took pictures with the band for their pages, fans, memories. mtv, etc and we got copies of fake newspaper issues the made.... After our 20 -30min break we went back to work and didn’t end up leaving till 12:30am to film the finial few scenes/opening scene of the video with Louie aka eagle man :D (the guy on the over of their new cd) and yea which that one take that couldn’t be redone was all lies!!! We filed it for around 2 hours ahaha.

I give MAD MAD probs to the derby girls
and the few fans that stayed till the end.

my voice is gone, we all ended up coughing up blood from screaming/yelling/ cheering so loud.

Thanks again to Louie, Kira and Anti-Flag to making yesterday amazing.

and to whom ever else i met I had a blast, six flags meet up anyone?

just got back from a 19 hour video shoot

update to come after sleep