wild and crazy not like them. Mel-I-AM

(okay tried to do a Dr. Seuss reference as my title, it didn't work perfectly oh, well.)

I am who I am. I do not care what people think of me; the only thing that matters that I am happy with myself, flaws included, because you truly only have yourself in life, so why live a life unhappy with yourself because of the thoughts of others when they do not mean anything in terms of your life's book, the bullies do not deserve a staring roll in your life.
Any-who. I am weird, I know and have been told this before. I live life according to the beat of my own drum. I am wild, crazy, loud, random, squeaky, worry-wart, spontaneous, klutzy, flexible, indecisive, hyper, and filled with random knowledge. When I am nervous or excited I sometimes say to much about random things or speak to fast. Often times I get giddy and start jumping up and down and clap my hands or start doing the happy dance. I get random bursts of energy at illogical times, I dance as I am walking or for no reason at all (with or without music), I sometimes break out in song or humming even though my singing voice is horrendous. I laugh so hard I fall over/roll over, even if I am the only one laughing about god knows what. I eat too much chocolate (well, there is never such a thing as in too much in my world) and love penguins- to the point I become extremely giddy whenever I see one. I am smart but have my blonde moments, am illogical yet logical, am messy but clean, an organized mess. I love to travel and read and dance till there is no tomorrow. I like to paint and draw, its a nice way to escape from my trouble and worries and to put/express all my thoughts and emotions via a simple brushstroke or a pencil mark, or any other medium. I watch movies over and over again till most people would get sick of them, but not me! I play video games and dance burlesque. I volunteer at hospitals and for the EPA. I do things in ways that are not considered normal. I am usually almost always positive, have no backbone, and see the greater good in everyone. I have been told I am a breath of fresh Hallmark card, because no matter what situation I am in I make the best of it and have a damn good time. I do not care if I make a fool of myself, as long as I am being true to who I am, and being my true self, screw others opinions. I cuss, I drink, I smoke (well not that much anymore), I have a dirty mind, but don't spread my legs often. I have been to hell and back and will never be the same again because of it, I wish no one to go through the hell i have been through, but will be there for you for support if you have. I hate fighting, but will attempt to stand my ground if you mess with my close friends. I never get mad, the only time I do is driving, yet I just cuss into the steering wheel and never flick people off or roll down my window and yell, it's quite a sight. I love animals, am vegetarian, but do not mind if people eat meat in front of me. I work 50+ hours a week and love to play when I am not. I love being around people yet times I just shut off my phone and love sitting in solitude getting lost in my book curled up infront of the fireplace or curled up in a blanket on the couch. I have flaws, but we all do. I embrace mine and look at them as character builders ones that set me apart from the crowd. I love going to museums, art galleries, zoos, playgrounds, parks..etc and just getting lost in the beauty of the paintings/artifacts or letting my inner kid out and just having a blast. I want to be romanced and I want to romance, I want someone who listens to what I say and who can remember things I do. I find beauty in the little things, and feel they are the most important in life. I view the world and life around me in an odd way. I love to travel and have been fortunate enough to see the world, which has had an enormous impact. I do not take anything for granted, and am thankful for everything I have. I try to live everyday as if it where my last, I want to have fun and laugh, and be appreciated. I have a great sense of humor and just me being myself usually can make almost anyone turn a frown upside down and laugh.
To me everything happens for a reason and the good and the bad help make me a stronger person and shape and mold me into the person I am today. I am expressive, observant, sometimes sarcastic, and sometimes add delectable imagery and descriptive words to my every day phrases/talk.
I am a computer nerd, technologically inclined, I love to build, remodel, garden, am a "tool belt diva" I play the piano and the banjo. I like all forms of music from the Appalachian to folk to classical to country to classics to swamp rock to hardcore to death metal to electroclash to bastard pop to bluegrass to jazz to acoustic to electronic to progressive to hip hop to punk to synth.. etc I love movies from film noirs to foreign to art house to the low budget to those cult campy films to the thinking man's to horror to documentaries to biographies to underground to the tear jerkers to humor laugh riots to the nail biters to the romantics to the chick flicks to the gangsters to the testosterone filled to the epics..etc I love art in any and all forms. To me every day is an adventure. I am an oddball. Awesomely lame and proud of it
I am that one person who walks into walls, doors, chairs, tables, pretty much anything, i often trip over myself even if im standing still (when sober) i often wake up with random bruises, how i got them.. the world may never know. Whenever my friends trip or fall they say "OMG I just pulled a Melissa" even when no one around them knows me.
I care about the world, and actually try to do something about it/make a difference/impact. Instead of being lazy and donating money I am actually on the front lines spending my time cleaning up beaches/wet lands, serving meals to the homeless, working in the IC Burn unit or terminal ward. Raising awareness of the wars/genocides in Africa, poverty in Hati, the abandoned kids in orphanages in Romania..

I will always be there for you, even If i don't know you, I will drop everything in an instant and do all that i can to help you any time you need. I wear my heart on my sleeve and always see the greater good in people.I love laying outside in the grass and watching the clouds float by, trying to find shapes in the clouds or looking up to the midnight sky and getting lost in the stars. I find beauty in sunsets and sunrises.I love overcast days (mainly because its sunny all the time here), and love playing in the rain :D

The fresh crisp air of the outdoors gives me an instant natural high. Nature and the outdoor world is my church, and the expereience/connection of being outdoors is my form of a "religious" experience. I find beauty and "blessings" in the little things life/nature/outdoors has to offer such as, watching sea turtles escape and crawl their way out of the sand and scurry into the ocean, or a the thought of tiny hummingbird nests holding tinier eggs. These seemingly simple events help put into perspective that there is something paramount, of a higher caliber, outside our own selves, so great it is fruitless to: attempt to describe it, put it to words, even to mold it into individual images of own ourselves. It just is how it is. When I see/am surrounded by a gorgeous sunset/sunrise, a gorgeously amazing breathtaking view, beautiful moon, sun/moon light reflecting off the clouds, etc.. I act like a little kid in a candy shop, I instantly become super excited, giddy and happy, all my worries seem to wash away. I sometimes call up my friends, no matter the hour, in order to spill my excitement even if the person does not really care. lol. Whether it is snowboarding down a mountain (even with a few tumbles), exploring the ocean's depths and underground caverns, hiking for miles into the great unknown, biking for miles along the coast or up a steep mountain face, walking off into the sunset, camping in the immense forest or jungle; Feeling as though you're the only living/human around for miles- away from the hustle bustle of everyday life- free from technology-responsibility being one with nature is heaven on earth for me.Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars... and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful.

Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are. ~Osho



I teach art classes at the IC Burn Unit for children, help out/read to amazing children who happen to live in the terminal ward :( and volunteer at a battered woman's and children center. I feel as though every person you meet whether it's for a few brief moments or a lifetime, impacts your life in one way or another you will be forever changed apparent (conscious) or subconsciously because of them. It is up to you whether you want that person to play a key character or a but a mere glint of words in your book of life. With each person you meet smile at them, tell them to have a good day/night/afternoon, give them all the kindness, gratitude, and understanding you can muster, and do it without thought of any reward. A simple smile, a few kind words can save a life brighten someone's day/week; when/before you meet someone you tend to judge them by their appearance yet when you leave you judge them by their heart, character and personality.I love being surrounded by people who loves to (and can make me) laugh and smile constantly; even poke fun at themselves (for their mistakes, follies, slip-ups, mishaps ..etc), and those who are not afraid to act like little kid or what could be perceived as crazy in public; who live and goes to the beat of their own drums and does not allow others opinions to inhibit them from being their true selves and those who try to have fun and make the best out of any situation. People who are out-of-the box thinkers, can hold intellectual conversations, think for themselves and don't believe everything they hear/read also those who step up and will not allowing others to think and speak for them (put words in mouth). Looks past flaws (and/or accepts and embraces them), and actually cares about character and depth in a person more than beauty and appreciates the little things in life and does not take anything for granted. Anyone who can keep up with me and my crazy antics, be random, spontaneous, and view every day as an adventure. Enjoys the outdoors and being in nature, likes to lay out and look up and find shapes in the clouds or play connect the dots with the twinkling stars. Likes to go ghost hunting (so much fun!!), exploring and wondering around aimlessly. Enjoys the arts: making music, painting, drawing, making masks, going to museums/galleries, reading, poetry. Breaks into spontaneous dance parties with me in the car, on the streets, in stores.. anywhere.